Goodbye Labels

As the journey continues on 2016, a thought has been on my mind more often. The label of ‘Witch’ is not one that I care to attach on myself any longer.


Labels can sometimes be helpful. They can help us understand ourselves and others. A label can make a person a “winner”, a “president”, a “superstar”. But labels are so very limiting. Labels are like boxes to put things inside. But we are not things that should be or can be, limited and confined. If I put myself in a box of “Witches”, a box of “Vampires”, a box of “Priestesses”, then that is all I am. Thoughts and words are so very powerful. So, I choose to release Nam Kirin Kaur from the boxes.



A drop in the ocean, the ocean in a drop. A wave crashing into the shore, only to return to the source, the ocean. You, Me, We, are all One.



New Year, New (Moon) Beginning

pentacle AWJ

The energy of the new year presents us with a unique opportunity to start fresh, to begin renewed. This of course is the same opportunity we are given every single day, but because of all the cultural celebration and tradition of New Years Eve, the energy available to us is extra beneficial for this purpose.

To make this even more powerful, we are blessed with the Moon of new beginnings, the New Moon. This is very exciting!

What better conditions to cut cords of (negative) attachment than these? We can cut away all that is not in harmony with us, all that holds us back and make our new beginning stronger.

Cutting Cords

We will be cutting negative cords of attachment. These are built on dependency, possessiveness, unbalanced relationships, ill and destructive desires and the like. Cords of attachment can be with people, situations, feelings, ideas, religions, memories, contracts and also past lives. Sometimes they fade away on their own with time, and other times (more than we’d like) they stick around and become stronger, holding us back and making a mess.

For this you will first take a spiritual cleansing bath or shower of your preference. Make it as elaborate as you feel, or keep it simple. The most important part is your intention. As you bathe or shower you may ask the Divine to cleanse and purify you, ask the water to cleanse and purify you. See all the stress, worries, and other negative junk go down the drain. Breathe slowly, comfortably, and relax.

Now, make your ritual preparations. Dress as you prefer, cast a circle, create sacred space, do what you usually do when you are about to do your magical work. It is important that you feel safe in your space, protected by Deity, spiritual guardians, energetic barrier, whatever works best for you.

Once again, meditate shortly on your intention to cut the negative cords of attachment. To get rid of what holds you back, to let go of that which does not serve you any longer. You may say a prayer for protection and strength, or improvise and speak from the heart about your intentions. Your energy and intention will make this as strong as you want it to be. You want those things gone, right?

To cut the cords you can simply visualize a pair of golden scissors, fire scissors, a flaming sword or knife. Or, you can use your ritual athame, or any other tool that helps your intention to cut. You can even use your own hands, and make a cutting motion with your fingers. Begin cutting from the top of your head, above the crown, and continue down and around your body until you get your feet. Cut and throw away, cut and throw away. As you cut, you can say something like “I don’t need this, I release it”, or any other words that you feel inspired to say. Cut as much as you feel you need to. When you are done cutting, visualize yourself as a warrior with an armor that protects you from any cords that may try to re-attach themselves to you.

Sit or stand quietly for a few minutes with gratitude for all you’ve learned, for this new beginning. Allow yourself to feel, to release, and then to welcome the new. Thank the Divine, guardians, protectors, and close your circle as you normally do.

Now, celebrate the new beginning of the beautiful soul that YOU are!

Love & Light
Rev. Priestess Oscura

2012 and the journey continues…

Awake in Peace
Awake in Love
Awake in Joy
Awake in Truth. -Nigaya O.

Those words came to my mind during the early morning, a few days ago. And I feel they reflect so much of what has happened in 2012, and what is to come. Sure, it seems a little general, but to me there is more to those words. It has become my mantra.


The calendar year of 2012 was  one full of challenges and blessings, do doubt. I’ve tried to write this post for days, and found it so difficult to write anything. Not because I have nothing to say, but because I have so much to say that it is difficult to put it all down. I’m sure I’m not the only one who goes through that.


I am endlessly grateful for all the blessings, that’s the short way to say it. In 2012 I took my first Kundalini Yoga class, with Donna Amrita Davidge, and it was a blessed experience. On the first class, we did an exercise in which we sat very close to a classmate that we had never met before, our knees touching, and we just stared into each other’s eyes. I felt unconditional love all around me, and coming from the person sitting in front of me. I cried, overwhelmed by the wonderful feelings. Today, I continue to practice Kundalini Yoga and I feel blessed for the opportunity to do so. Thanks to Donna Amrita Davidge for showing me the way.

What is Kundalini Yoga? Kundalini Yoga as taught by Yogi Bhajan® is considered the most comprehensive of yoga traditions, combining meditation, mantra, physical exercises and breathing techniques; it is a Raj Yog, encompassing the eight limbs of yoga into a singular practice of excellence and ecstasy. “Kundalini” literally means “the curl of the lock of hair of the beloved.” This poetic metaphor alludes to the flow of energy and consciousness that exists within each of us, and enables us to merge with – or “yoke” – the universal Self. Fusing individual and universal consciousness creates a divine union, called “yoga.” The Upanishads, dating back to the fifth century B.C., describe the kundalini, although the oral tradition reaches back even further into history. For thousands of years, this sacred science and technology was veiled in secrecy, passed along verbally from master to chosen disciple.*


In May, my mother and her husband came to visit us from Puerto Rico, for the first time. We had a blast, and they experienced different foods, and many wonderful things that the diversity of NYC offers. Although their visit was short, we did more than we all expected, and I am grateful for being able to spend that time with them and for the fact that they left the city with smiling faces and stories to tell their friends. :)


In June 2012, I participated in a Spa Day for Women with Breast Cancer. It was my first time doing something like this, and I intend to do it again, as many times as I possibly can. I was there as a Reiki practitioner. The Spa included a back massage, a Reiki treatment and some other nourishing, healing activities for the women. Being able to help someone in this manner is something that I am so grateful for. The best memory I took from this experience was, a woman that came to our Reiki table (there were 3 of us practicing together) and she was not feeling well at all. She looked scared, nervous, and she was even crying a bit. The three of us watched as she gradually calmed down during the treatment, and her face changed from pain and worry, to serenity and peace. She became completely relaxed and by the time the Reiki practice ended, she was so grateful and smiling. That right there was such a blessing it brings tears to my eyes.



I have a new job in which I feel more comfortable and happy, another blessing! Prosperity keeps flowing into our lives, thank you!


In October, a dear friend and spiritual sister asked me to officiate her wedding in January 2013. The fact that she thought of me alone made me feel so happy! Yet, another blessing in 2012. I’ve officiated a double Handfasting before, but this was different. My sister asked me to do this legally, so I had to work on getting registered in NYC to be a wedding officiant. This was all new to me, and at first was very stressful, but the Goddess guided me, and kept placing more blessings in my path, and some of those blessings are friends :) who helped me get registered (thank you Goddess Rosemary and thank you ULC). This is yet another step on my Priestess path, and the Goddess continues to guide me full force ahead. <3


This is the year of the Black (water) Snake (beginning in February 10). The Snake is the sixth sign of the Chinese Zodiac, which consists of 12 Animal Signs. It is the enigmatic, intuitive, introspective, refined and collected of the Animals Signs. Ancient Chinese wisdom says a Snake in the house is a good omen because it means that your family will not starve.**


I can’t wait for what 2013 brings, as the spiritual awakening of humanity continues. It certainly has already started wonderfully, because my sister’s wedding was a great, beautiful, blessed day that I will never forget. :)


The journey continues 2013…



2013, Year of the Snake

The Power of Our Emotions, Thoughts, Words, Intention

Happy FoodIt’s very easy to fall into the trap of focusing on all the things we don’t want in our lives. There is the saying “when it rains, it pours”. Remember that? One thing seems to go wrong and then another, and another. And we ask ourselves, “why me?”, “what did I do wrong?”, “why now?”. Then we start feeling like crap, start feeling sorry for ourselves, and it’s all downhill from there. Any of this sound familiar?


I’ve been down that road. It really does work like that. One nightmare after another. I was depressed, seeing no relief in the future, no recovery, no happiness. Of course I wasn’t down every waking second. There were days when I felt better, and had some of my strength come back, but it was always in short periods of time and then I’d go right back down. Something would slightly hit me and I’d tumble down in an instant. Eventually, I sought out a therapist because I was tired of feeling like that and wondered if this would help. I saw a couple of psychologists. They were very good, and helped me sort out many things, helped me understand some of my inner puzzles. Talking to them wasn’t really what helped, because I did that with my mother all the time and enjoyed it and still do. How they helped me was by having experience that I didn’t have and using it to find the best way to help me find the best way. No that wasn’t a typo.


After seeing the therapists for a couple of years intermittently, I felt that they had done what they could and moved on. Things were certainly better, or at least I was handling it all a little better. But I wasn’t “there yet”. Things had to get worse to force me to really do something about it all. And I don’t regret anything…


One night, after suffering for several years with living conditions that were causing a lot of emotional damage on us, things had reached a dangerous edge. I rather not go into details about the exact situation. But let’s just say, the police had to be involved at one point. When my beloved got physically hurt by the situation we were living in, that’s was it, that was the trigger; that was when I stood up, put my foot down hard, and said out loud: “that’s enough, this ends now, this changes now”. Something along those lines. I made a decision, and not just any decision we make on a daily basis. This was a declaration, I was sending my intention loudly into the Universe. I was consciously making a change with my words, shaping my life, our life with a very emotional and strong declaration. And the changes began…


Not only did we move, but we finally found a place to live where we had the peace we needed. Some of our visitors have said that they can breathe peace when they are in our home. We reached a balance that we had been missing, and it felt great. Anytime I’ve made big changes in my life, or have seen someone close to me make big changes, I see that it usually starts with a potent declaration which usually happens after a very difficult situation hits us really hard.


This was only one example, one situation in which I “made my declaration”, set my intention on changing it. It’s not the only time I’ve done it. And I must say, it is very powerful stuff. Our thoughts, our intentions, our emotions, all put together, all focused on the same direction can make a huge impact in our lives an the lives of those around us. Using them all at once is a great tool that we can use  repeatedly, and it works. I’ve never gone back. Once I changed course, the waters just got more and more pleasant. And the more pleasant they got the less I thought of the awful things that had transpired. Even now, whenever I think back to any of those awful times, I see them differently now. They are not part of my current life, they are only experiences and they don’t own me.


Now gratitude is something I practice on a daily basis. And if I ever feel depressed or weak, which of course happens, I just let it be, I let myself be. If I’m depressed today, I will allow myself to feel that way. It isn’t a horrible thing, it’s not a tragedy, it’s not something I deserve blah blah etc…I see it as a natural occurrence that happens to me and to others as well. It is simply that, and it passes and then I’m perfectly fine again. It is not the end, it’s much more simple than that. I don’t need to hold on to it, I only let it happen and let it take its course. No need to put it on the spotlight and worship it and marry it. Am I driving the point home? I hope so.


In conclusion, there is no secret, no gimmick, it isn’t an impossible task. It is our decision to change it all.

My wish list that will become a done list

Ah, so much to do, so little time! I want to spend my time learning so many different things, trying them out, taking some of them much further. I’ve been blessed, for I’ve done a lot so far, but there is still much more to do, learn, experience! Inspirational people like Leonie ( ), give me the motivation to start this list. It will keep growing and changing, and I’m looking forward to that. :)


Aromatherapy – learning it already but would like to go further and get a professional certification
Belly Dance – DONE! Took classes and danced (not professionally) for 2 years
Blue hair – Wanted to dye my hair blue, but I rather get extensions and avoid hair damage
Buy a home with my hubby in our ideal location
Color Therapy
Integrative Craniosacral Unwinding – I took a free intro class and now I REALLY would love to learn more
Feng Shui – learning it already but would like to become a certified consultant.
Herbalism/herbology degree
Handfasting – it would be amazing if we could have our 10th anniversary be a hand fasting ceremony officiated by Goddess Rosemary.

Kundalini Yoga – Very happy to say that I took classes with Donna Amrita Davidge recently and I feel incredibly blessed! This is just the beginning!
Kung Fu – DONE! Practiced for 2 years
Modeling – DONE! Went to modeling academy, graduated, worked in some shows (wasn’t for me).
Photography – More of a hobby but I do love it.
Reiki – First degree so far, so good!
Sing in a rock band – DONE! Sang in several bands.
Home Temple – I want to have a small room in my home (when we do buy a home) that will be my own temple.
Egypt – I want to visit Egypt someday, I want to know what it feels like to be there amongst the pyramids.
Sedona, Arizona – DONE! Went to Sedona with hubby, enjoyed spa, hiking and incredible views. Will definitely go back.
Italy – I want to visit!
Taiwan – I want to visit my childhood friend who has been living there for many years.

….the list will keep growing :)

Fashion Magic for Everyday Use [Pagan Blog Project]

This subject may seem a bit superficial to some, but I find it fun, and empowering. I’m referring to Witchy Fashion! The garments and accessories we choose to wear inside and outside of the magic circle.


First, outside of the magic circle. That is for us to decide. What makes us feel comfortable and happy is what we should always wear. What is required of our day job if we have one, is a guideline that many of us follow. Some jobs require uniforms, others require suits. But none of them say anything about leaving magic out! Witches are magical people, and magic should be part of our daily lives, not just limited to the magic circle. Empowerment comes by being ourselves fully and embracing the power that resides within us. We are like flowers waiting to bloom fully. If you are a rose, then be a rose, you can’t be half rose and half tulip! I’m a Witch, so I will be a Witch! :)

So, at your day-job you are required to wear a uniform. It’s plain, it’s boring, it’s quite strict so you can’t do anything to it. If you are allowed to wear any jewelry, choose a pair of earrings that you’ve magically charged to only bring pleasant sounds to your ears and see the effect it has on how people talk to you. It could be a brooch, bracelet or a ring. Obviously Pagan symbolism on your jewelry is not necessary if you don’t feel comfortable showing it off. If you can’t wear any jewelry with your uniform but you have to wear a hat, you could easily draw a magical symbol on the inside of your hat to keep you protected, keep your mind sharp and alert. Even your socks can be magically charged, for example if you have to be on your feet all day long charge them to give you the energy and comfort that you need throughout the day. I could go on and on about this, so as you can see, you are only limited by your creativity!


For those who are not required to wear uniforms at their day-job, color magic can be easily used when picking clothes and accessories. Different cultures and traditions have their own interpretations of what each color means, so go with the one that you identify with. Use the colors to your advantage, and attract the energy that you desire or need depending on the day or situation. If you do a quick search online you will find many websites that discuss ways of using Colors in magic. There are also some good books out there as well. I’m just going to mention two of them but I’m sure there are others that are good as well. Ray Buckland’s Practical Color Magick, and Color Magic for Beginners by Richard Webster. I do not own either book but they seem to get good reviews.


Although it isn’t considered magic per se, I do use Fashion Feng Shui to choose my wardrobe and it really helps to attract the energy that I desire (read a blog post I wrote about this subject here) and to feel more comfortable and more like myself. Fashion Feng Shui is based on Chinese Feng Shui, and it simply uses the Five Element Theory and intention to create a harmonious flow just like good old Feng Shui does in the spaces we inhabit. Clothing is such a personal and intimate part of our lives that it makes perfect sense to use it to our advantage. We can thank Evana Maggiore for developing this technique. Her book Fashion Feng Shui: The Power of Dressing with Intention is really insightful and helpful.

As I said before, you are only limited by your own creativity and resources. So go ahead and bring your magic with you everywhere you go!


Secondly, there is fashion in our magic circle. When I think of this my mind conjures images of velvet capes and robes, headdresses, masks, and many other dramatic, rich, and meaningful symbols that have been carried on by both fictional sources like books and films, and by old traditions. Some people like to keep it simple and they don’t feel the need to wear elaborate garments, and some just don’t wear anything at all. Whatever you wish to do is fine as long as you feel comfortable and in the case of nudity, safety of the participants and location should also be considered.


Making your own magical clothing and accessories for your rituals is a wonderful thing. It allows you to infuse the item with your own energy. Some people chant or say prayers while crafting scarves to give to the poor and ill. The energy and intention stays with the scarf and the person who wears it benefits from it. But not all of us are that crafty. Never fear, many wonderfully talented Pagans enjoy creating delightful pieces for others to purchase and enjoy. You can find many of the creations of talented magical people on websites like

Let me make something clear. All the magic you need is within. Your own intention, focus and connection to the Divine can be just as powerful while wearing a luxurious velvet robe with satin lining and bell sleeves as while wearing a simple cotton dress. However, many of us find that the addition of special garments and accessories helps to enhance the ambiance, contributing to our focus and magical personality. In group work, this is even more true. A Priestess or Priest can enhance a ritual by drawing more attention to themselves using magical fashion. All eyes will be on them and will remain on them, keeping the energy and intention of the ritual steady. It’s a great tool to enhance your own energy. The colors play an important part here of course, depending on the time of the year and the celebration. Examples are black for Samhain, green or yellow for Ostara, red for Imbolc, white or gold for Yule etc.

As for accessories, we all have a special necklace or pendant we like to wear for rituals, a bracelet or a ring. The materials of these can bring even more beneficial energies into our work. Gold or silver, gemstones,  they can all be used to enhance magical work in different manners. Studying color and crystal magic is quite practical and useful! 😉


Personally, I favor the enhancement of magical work using fashion. I use robes, capes, masks, an Isis crown, pendants, earrings and a lot of times I’ve worn a special dress in place of a robe. These items help me “step into the magic circle” even more literally. I feel the shift in my state of mind and focus.

There are many tools out there for us to use creatively. It’s all up to us to make magic a part of our every day lives and through fashion we can do that. :)


Love and Blessings

Dressing with intention

I was recently introduced to something I never thought of before, called Fashion Feng Shui, through one of my meet up groups. I’m very interested in Feng Shui and this sounded like it would be fun, so I attended an event to learn more about this subject.

If you’ve never heard of the term Feng Shui, here is some basic info. According to the International Feng Shui Guild it is “the interplay between the seen (our surroundings) and the unseen (energy and intention)”. From a dictionary, we get the following: (in Chinese thought) a system of laws considered to govern spatial arrangement and orientation in relation to the flow of energy (qi) and whose favorable or unfavorable effects are taken into account when siting or designing buildings.

Ok, so we work with the space we live and/or work in to bring the harmony that is needed between us, the space, the objects that occupy it and the energy that flows through it. I am not a certified Feng Shui consultant, at least not yet. But, I have used the information I’ve learned so far about it in my apartment and so far I’ve  gotten good results. So, why not apply this to our own wardrobe?

At this event I attended the presenter gave everyone a copy of the book Fashion Feng Shui: The Power of Dressing with Intention, written by Evana Maggiore. The idea is that clothing is your body’s most intimate environment and, therefore, energetically influences your life in the same way that your home and business decors do. The author also concludes that there is a pattern of alignment between body coloring and shape, style personality, lifestyle, goals and clothing design with the colors, shapes, substances and energies of Feng Shui’s Five Elements. It is fascinating!

There are 5 elements of nature in Feng Shui. Those are Water, Wood, Fire, Earth and Metal. Evana Maggiore then proposes 5 elemental archetypes: Water the philosopher; Wood the pioneer; Fire the pleasure seeker; Earth the peacemaker, and Metal the perfectionist. To learn more about these elemental archetypes and to take a quiz to find out which one are you, you can visit her website here. When I read the detailed descriptions of all these archetypes, I identified strongly with Water the philosopher. Highly sensitive, independent, creative, usually quiet and self-contained are some of the characteristics of this archetype. By learning more about this archetype which is my essence, I can make better decisions about what clothing to buy and wear, and I can use the knowledge of all the elemental archetypes to direct my intentions and energy into whatever purpose I need it for. This as opposed to being constantly frustrated with “not having anything to wear” despite having a closet full of clothing, or buying clothes without much purpose other than that I liked it when I saw it at the store or I think it’s cute or it’s what I should be wearing. That’s how one can accumulate many pieces of clothing that then one never wears.

To me knowing what my elemental archetype and essence is feels like opening my eyes to seeing a part of myself that I was neglecting. It’s like discovering a tool that you’ve always had and never used, taking off all the cobwebs and dust and realizing you had a powerful tool all along. :)

The first thing I did was empty out my closet completely and look at everything. I got rid of several items that, I had been keeping for various reasons that were totally wrong. For example a blouse that I bought because it was very pretty, even though I didn’t like the color much. It was also very uncomfortable to wear, so I had only worn it about 3 times in 2 years. No point in keeping that, so it goes to clothing donations.

On a day when I am wearing something that makes me feel comfortable, elegant, creative and beautiful, I feel unstoppable! On a day when I am wearing something that feels uncomfortable, and I am fuzzing with it all day long, feeling self-conscious and frustrated with it, this can ruin my entire day because I keep going back to the fact that I don’t feel comfortable with what I am wearing. It really makes a huge difference when I am dressed in harmony with who I am and with my energy. It also does make a huge difference in how people react to me.

Does this subject interest you? I find it fun and fascinating! And it also does make a difference. If you would like to learn more, I suggest the following sources:

Fashion Feng Shui: The Power of Dressing with Intention, written by Evana Maggiore (book)
Fashion Feng Shui (website)

Five Elements of Feng Shui

5 Elements image by Nigaya/Oscura

Thank you Ammachi

I first learned about Ammachi when I was reading Dancing the Inner Serpent. Priestess Le’emma described her experience meeting this woman, also known as ‘the hugging saint’, as a life altering one.

A couple of weeks ago, while I was buying a couple of smoothies at an organic shop I saw a flyer with the name Amma on it, and a photo that looked familiar. I picked it up and when I got home, I looked up the website. I realized this was the Amma that Priestess Le’emma met! The flyer was promoting her tour which was coming to NYC soon. How fortunate am I? I decided I had to go see her. I immediately began to promote Amma’s tour on Facebook and Twitter, and I mentioned more specifically to my sister Dahlia, whom I knew would be interested in this event.

Who is Amma? Mata Amritanandamayi, which translates into “Mother of Immortal Bliss”, but to millions around the world she is known as “Amma” (mother) or “Ammachi” (beloved mother). She is a Hindu spiritual leader and teacher, who is revered as a saint by her followers. She is widely respected for her humanitarian activities. She is sometimes referred to as “The Hugging Saint”  because of the loving embraces she has given tirelessly to thousands everyday for the last 30 years. It is estimated that Amma has already given over 20 million hugs!

Today, my sister Dahlia and I went to see Amma at Roseland Ballroom in NYC. I knew this would be a long day, but I was prepared for the wait and I knew it would be worth it. We got our tokens and walked in. Roseland was full of white clad devotees, people of all ages, cultures and religions. There were merchants, great food, and such a wonderful ambiance and energy. We walked around and enjoyed shopping for some great items like sarees, jewelry, and other wonderful goodies.

We waited all day long for our turn to be hugged by Amma. When it was our turn, we got online and slowly made our way towards her. I could feel my heart beating faster. The staff would place each person either kneeling or sitting in front of Amma, and then quickly pull them away as soon as she was done, to keep the line moving smoothly. When Amma reached for my head and pulled me close to her chest while she softly cradled my head in her arms, I put my arms around her in surrender, and as she whispered a blessing softly in my ear, an overwhelming flood of emotion came over me. I really don’t know exactly how to describe it. Unconditional love perhaps? I think that’s one good way of describing it. But it was more than that. I have tears in my eyes as I type this. As she put a small token in my hand and I walked away to pick up my backpack and find a place to sit down and take this all in, I looked around to try and find my sister, but I couldn’t think. I just needed to sit for a minute.

I found a chair and took a couple of minutes. I felt as if my chest was going to explode, so overwhelmed with emotion. I found my sister and we both sat for a minute. When we got up to go, I couldn’t take it anymore and hugged her while I cried. Honestly I don’t know what to say, it’s hard for me to describe what I feel. All I know is that this woman has a pure soul that irradiates a light so bright, warm, loving, caring, that people flock to her side, where she welcomes one and all with open arms. Her embrace has affected me no doubt about that, and this is an experience I will treasure for ever. Or until I get to receive Darshan from Amma once again.

Thank you Amma.


The power of words

There are many sayings about words and how powerful they can be. One person can charm many people with the power of words, whether their intentions are good or not. Some use their words to gain followers, some to trick people, some to heal them, some to hurt them. Words can make us believe strongly in something even if we have no proof of it. Words can make us want to buy something we don’t even need. Words can make us fear something we don’t even know.

Words can be just words, but they can also be like tools. Words can be controlled but they can also control us. When we are not careful, words can spill out of our mouths which can never be taken back.

I have learned that my words can really affect my own emotions, and they can also affect the emotions of those around me. But this goes the other way around as well. Words can become like chains. Because of this, if I say things like “I can’t to it” or “It won’t work” or “I’m not good enough”, I am immediately using my words as chains, that bind me. And from that moment on, things will go as I said they would. Have you ever noticed how people who are constantly saying negative things about their lives like “Just as usual, I lost my phone”, or “It was only a matter of time before everything would go downhill for me”, seem to really never get out of that vicious downward spiral? That is because they are doing it to themselves! And the more they do this, then they get used to it so they can’t see past this dark cloud they have created around them. They lose the ability to see things in any other way for themselves. It’s like they put on a pair of glasses that have a tint on them which makes them see everything in a negative way, but they have worn the glasses for too long so they don’t notice them anymore.

For a person like that, it is difficult for those who care about them to help them. They don’t want to believe that they can change, because they just don’t want to anymore. It is a bad habit that isn’t so easy to give up, just like smoking or hoarding. However, just because they have this difficulty it doesn’t mean we should give up on them. We should never give up on them.

Unfortunately, there is another side to this problem. Your own words are not the only words that can bind you this way. Other people can do this to you as well. If someone you care about, or someone that you look up to, someone important to you, were to constantly reinforce negativity on you, then you would be in the same situation I described above. And as long as they continue beating you down with words, you will continue to fall unless you break away from them altogether. I’ve seen it happen. One person continuously beating down on another person with negative remarks like “You won’t amount to anything”, “I knew you wouldn’t be able to do it” and other horrible words, can have a lasting effect on someone who doesn’t know how to defend themselves from this abuse. Long term, this situation can make the person being abused unable to live a normal life, constantly being haunted by the negative words which they end up believing. It can be truly devastating.

We’ve all heard sayings like “You reap what you sow”, and “Like attracts like”. Sayings aren’t around for no reason. Your words can be chains that bind you, they are as magnets that attract whatever you are talking about. Breaking away from long term negativity that has been attracted and is now keeping you down like chains can be a very difficult task, but anything is possible. When you have been doing things a certain way, and they don’t seem to work out as you’d like, it is time to change your approach. The key word here is CHANGE. And change means you have to make an effort, you have to really want it and really do something about it. Sounds difficult? I guarantee you, breaking away from a negative downward spiral and into the life you want and deserve will be completely worth the effort. And this is something we can all do because all it requires is our own thoughts, our own words. There is no magic pill, no course to take, no equipment to buy. It’s completely free.

Also, if you know someone that is going through this, you can use your own words and thoughts to help them now. Even if you’ve tried to talk to them and convince them to stop saying this or that, doing this or that and it doesn’t work, you can help them. Having the most positive expectations of someone is the best gift you can give them. And letting them know you have no doubt they will succeed won’t hurt either, every once in a while. 😉 Be as stubborn as they are, but in a good way.

Just remember how it feels when your own mother or significant other tells you that they love you, or when someone gives you an unexpected but sweet compliment. Doesn’t that feel so much better?

The next time you see your face in the mirror, why not say something nice? Don’t be so serious about it, just a smile, a wink of the eye, a “Hey good looking!”, followed by a laugh. Feels good doesn’t it? That means it is having a positive effect on you. Imagine if we did this every single day, if we used kind, positive words when referring to ourselves and others.

Anything is possible! :)